If you put crabs in a bucket, they perform a behavior that happens when someone tries to climb from the pail. Whoever tries to escape will get pulled down by its fellow crabs. Yes, you heard that right. Instead of helping each other climb out of the bucket, crabs tend to grab the legs of the one escaping and pull it down.
With this kind of behavior, no crab will make it out of the bucket unless someone pulls one out and has it ready as their food.
This trait has become popular, that people even named it the Crab Mentality, which means “if I can’t have it, neither can you” mentality. I have for the most part tried to ignore the crab in a bucket theory while building out my Life List.
What’s With Crab in a Bucket Mentality?
This kind of behavior is not just present among crabs but also in humans.
Indeed, whenever you expect to accomplish something incomprehensible. Now and again, the test isn’t even the new test. Sometimes the test is disposing of the multitude of individuals keeping you down.
It isn’t what you are trying to achieve that is hard, but rather the environment trying to pull you down, so you don’t get to accomplish something.
Related: How to Set Goals in 6 Week Blocks
Why does that happen?
Since when you change, it makes other awkward. It makes further inquiry why those people aren’t moving forward or advancing. It makes them question why they don’t have the fire in themselves to get them motivated and try to achieve something.
Because of that, instead of trying to find answers to push themselves forward. Instead, they find reasons to make you think not to do what you want to achieve and leave them behind your shadows. They hinder you and keep you stagnant because they start a self-evaluation on what they could have done better to keep up with you. Who would want to see someone succeed when you stuck yourself in a puddle of mud?
Indeed, almost everyone has experienced this kind of treatment from others, or somehow did this kind of behavior towards someone. Like when your friend studied for a test, you tell him/her, “Why are you studying so much?” Or it could be that every time someone feels happy or is celebrating, you feel jealous or more like you are panicking. Crab mentality isn’t just about what you do or what you say, but also about what you feel when someone experiences something positive.
If ever you feel now that you have this kind of attitude, don’t worry, it’s not too late to change. However, it requires dedication to do so.
Escaping the Crab-Bucket
The first to do to get out of the bucket that you are in right now is to prepare yourself. It would be best if you prepared your mind to stick to your goal, no matter what happens, no matter what other say. In the process, you will lose something but will gain something much better – it will be an excellent trade, so do not worry.
Find New Crabs
If you are now ready for whatever consequences your actions would make, proceed to the next step: Change the People Holding You Back. That means if you think that your friends are hindering your growth as a person, get out of that group and try to find motivated individuals like you. That way, you wouldn’t have to worry about people that will pull you down.
If, during the process, those people tried to make gossips or made fun of you, do not care about those words. People saying nasty things to you may be annoying or causes you to snap, but you can’t do anything about it. It is better to have that white noise while you are trying to change, rather than hearing sweet words from people while being stagnant.
However, if ever some of the old friends you have tried to reach out to you and say he/she has changed, give them a chance. Hang out with them. Maybe, at that time, they are trying to find new crabs that will interact with them, not in a way they will get pulled down. Remember that you started from that phase too.
Set Your Goal: Have Vision For Yourself
After finding new friends to help you stay motivated instead of pulling you down, use them as inspiration for your goals that you want to achieve. It may be that those goals are for the group to accomplish. Doesn’t matter. They are your set of plans, after all.
The point of setting your goal or having a bucket is for you to have a direction. Sure, you could leave your old friends, but what are you going to do now? With the goals you set, you will be able to find out what you will do next. It will be hard if you act based solely on your instinct.
However, having your bucket list helps in knowing what you would want to do and enables you to understand where you should be heading. Like a crab, once you got out of the bucket, where would you want to go next? Back to the ocean? Sea? River? It depends on what kind of environment your goals are most suitable.
Get Out of the Pail
Now that you have prepared yourself, found motivated people, and set goals, it is time to get out of the bucket you are in right now. Remember the statement mentioned above about knowing where to go next? That step goes under this one.
Going out of the bucket means setting sail to a new environment; it may be a new job or workplace or a new place to stay.
The reason why a new environment is necessary is that everything that surrounds you affects your decisions. For example, you want to dedicate yourself to working out, but since the gym is distant from your house, you abandon your regular exercise plans.
It also affects your mood towards something. When you have a boss and colleagues who do not treat you properly when you are at work, you tend to feel discouraged to go to your job.
Know Your Environment
In the end, your environment affects you that much. That is why when you start feeling distressed about things in life; you need to change your setting to have a better view. Also, having a new environment surrounding you will give you a reset and even refreshment.
To know what kind of environment you want to be in, you must evaluate your goals and what kind of person you are. Don’t you like an outgoing vibe? Be in a quiet atmosphere. Do you want white noises? Try to join a busy setting. Matching the environment that you will enter to your personality will be like a crab going back to its natural habitat.
However, you may also become an adventurous crab that does not want to go to a sea but want to belong in freshwater. For example, you are an introvert, but you want to travel to places, the best thing to do is join an outgoing group.
It is up to you what environment you want to belong to. If you feel like you don’t belong in that atmosphere, you can always change to a new one. That is why you don’t have to worry.
Harden Your Shell
Individuals are horrendous. You won’t ever get individuals to quit harassing individuals, and regardless of where you go, you will consistently discover somebody that will go facing you.
Along these lines, rather than wanting to be in this way, acknowledge it merely. At that point become impenetrable to the remarks, the discussion, the rubbish. Set your eyes on your goals. Understand that the comments are interruptions. On the off chance that you trust them, at that point, you stop. If you view it as clamor – you should put on your commotion-dropping earphones and continue to track.